Why “Fake it Till You Make It” Can Be a Terrible Idea
Don’t be afraid to be a fool
In Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People, communication expert Vanessa Van Edwards writes the following anecdote to illustrate the inefficiency of faking a skillset one doesn’t have:
“Imagine it’s your dream to play professional basketball. You’re fast and have
great ball-handling skills. You also happen to be six feet two inches tall. You
have two choices: You could play center, but the average height of an NBA
center is six feet eleven inches. If you went for center, you would have to
fake your height by wearing lifts during games and spending a ton of extra
hours after practice working on your vertical jump. Or you could play point
guard, where the average height is six feet two inches. You wouldn’t have to
make up for extra inches with your jump — you could just focus on playing.”
Trying to “fake it till you make it” socially takes a lot of energy and rarely works.
I’m going to tell you a brief story. I’m a pretty introverted person, and while I love catching up with friends, I’m always the first one to burn through my energy and feel ready to end the conversation.
I usually just fake it and pretend to still be totally ‘on’ until the other person is also ready to go do something else, and I…
